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FEAR: What You May Not Know



Fear Fear Fear!!! Everyone of us is afraid of something, some place or someone. And the most unfortunate of it all, we are still in this state, still doing the job, still taking the course, still keeping the relationship etc because of fear. We no longer enjoy a relationship, we are afraid of letting go.

We want an increase in salary, we are are afraid of telling our employer. We want to upgrade our skills, we are afraid of attending seminars, taking extra courses. And the list goes on. But, what is really this thing called fear? The fact is, when you listen to other people, you will know we all are afraid of something. But, the way we handle our fear, makes the difference.

In this article I will be sharing what fear is, levels of fear, and some myths about fear (in the next article).

I will like to repeat that, what is the usefulness of reading what I can`t share with others? This article is based on experience and on what I have read as far as fear is concerned. Do me a favor, share with loved one…..Thanks.

What Is Fear? Fear is a strong, uncontrollable, unpleasant emotion caused by actual or perceived danger or threat. That feeling that is holding you back, that has been holding you back is FEAR.

According to Susan Jeffers, Ph.D, (the author of Face the Fear…and Do it anyway), fear has three levels. Namely, levels 1, 2 & 3.

LEVEL ONE FEAR: This is the surface story. This level of fear can be divided into two types: those that happen and those that require action.

Those that Happen: These are things you have no control over. They (some) will surely happen either you like or not. They are: Aging, Becoming disabled, Retirement, Being alone, Children leaving home, Natural disasters, Loss of financial security, Change, Dying, War, Illness, Losing a loved one, Accident and Rape.

Those Requiring Action: Going back to school, Making decisions, Changing a career, Making friends, Ending or beginning a relationship, Going to the doctor, Asserting oneself, Losing weight, Being interviewed, Driving, Public speaking, Making a mistake, Intimacy.

LEVEL TWO FEARS: Level 2 fears have to do with inner states of mind rather than exterior situations. They reflect your sense of self and your ability to handle this world. This explains why generalized fear takes place. If you are afraid of being rejected, this fear will affect almost every area of your life—friends, intimate relationships, job interviews, and so on. Rejection is rejection—wherever it is found. So you begin to protect yourself, and, as a result, greatly limit yourself. You begin to shut down and close out the world around you.

THEY ARE: Rejection, Being conned, Success, Helplessness, Failure, Disapproval, Being vulnerable, Loss of image.

LEVEL THREE FEAR: This is the biggest of all fears. It is simply the fear of I CANT HANDLE IT! At the bottom of every one of your fears is simply the fear that you cant handle whatever life may bring to you.

For instance, I cant handle illness, I cant handle making a mistake, I cant handle losing my job, I can’t handle getting old, I can’t handle being alone, I can’t handle making a fool out of myself, I can’t handle not getting the job, I can’t handle losing him/her, I can’t handle losing my money, I can’t handle failure, . . etc.



From this moment on, every time you feel afraid, remind yourself that it is simply because you are not feeling good enough about yourself. Remind yourself that you can handle it.

You must have been wondering why your fears didnt go away immediately. There are some truths you should know about fear. The fear is always there. You just have to conquer it.

To be continued……

© 2018 | Obembe S.D (SirPhren)

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I am Obembe, Sunday Dapo (SirPhren). I am the owner of this EMPIRE. I am professionally a Registered Nurse and Passionately a Blogger. I love motivating people, reading and sharing whatever I know. We need to be constantly motivated to be able to push through whatever we want to do. I am also into Blog Designing. "Look within, the secret is inside you." To get through to me, am an email/ WhatsApp away. Am happy to have you around! Let's rock it together!

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What Makes The GREAT Great?



Yeah, what makes the great great? You have seen their glories and you should read their stories. What makes the great great is a book written by Dennis P. Kimbro, Ph.D. I didn’t know about the book till I got to a bookshop In Lagos. Then I went in search of the 50th law of power by Robert Greene and 50cent. I couldn’t lay my hands on it and I asked the book seller to give me any nice book and he did give me What Makes The Great Great. I was glad he did.

“If you want to be great and successful, you must walk hand-in-hand with great and successful people.” Nido Qubein

The book tells of the stories of great men and women, how they were able able to stand out among the crowd and made names for themselves. The author introduces inspiring people who have achieved greatness in their own unique ways, then highlights the qualities each of us must develop before we reach our full potential.

Regardless of your definition of success, the book provides approach of turning your dream to reality. Greatness is guaranteed when you discover life’s true calling, live more courageously, access knowledge and creativity of your mind and embrace integrity in everything you do.

We all have seeds of greatness in us, what makes the great great provides the tools to discover and nourish those seeds.

Dennis P. Kimbro asked some great men and women the question, What makes the great great? See some of their responses below:

When Bill Pinkney [the first African-American to sail solo around the world and the forty-first man to do so] was asked what makes the great great, his response was; “Don’t wait! Now is the time to fulfil your destiny. We must act with courage; look forward with hope; and view life through a lens that defines what can be done rather than what cannot be done. If you are willing to work and never, never quit, you can make your dream come true.” What does this message mean to you?

Percy Sutton said, “If you have but one wish let it be for an idea.”

Robert E. Johnson, founder of Black Entertainment Television said, “Life is a grindstone, But whether it grinds you down or polishes you up depends upon what you are made of. And Rev Jesse Jackson added, “You may not be responsible for being knocked down, but you are certainly responsible for getting back up.”

What makes the great great

Henry Park of Park Sausage said, “In one hand I have a dream and in the other I have an obstacle. Tell me, which one grabs your attention?”

When Reverend Ike was asked what makes the great great, he said, “Do what I have done. “Open up a can! The world belongs to those who say I can.”

Mae Jemison, America’s first black female astronaut, when was asked what makes the great great said, “Greatness can be captured in a lifestyle. Life is God’s gift to you, style is what you make of it.”

Quincy Jones said, “Greatness occurs when your children loves you, when your critics respects you, and when you have peace of mind.”

Cornel West, an author and a professor said, “If you want to be great, you must serve willingly and love greatly.”

Oseola McCarty said, “Do as much as you can for as many as you can.”

And according to my observation, the greats are the people who understands what it means to simplify. They are the people who face one thing, face one passion and give in their best and do not believe in being jack of all trades. They are the people with determination and unshaken focus to do what they put before them. They are the people who have desires that burn. They are the people who say I will do this and never give up until they do. – SirPhren

Do you want to be great in that field you have chosen? Now you have just read about the opinions of some of the great men and women who have lived before us. Some of what they said is still valid and it will be nice to practice them.

There is only one thing that can stop you from being great. Do you want to know? Only you can stop you.

Robert Browning said, “When a man’s fight begins within himself, he is worth something.” And Bhagavad-Gita concluded, “A man’s own self is his friend, a man’s own self is his foe.”

If you really want to get your life together, this is one of the books you should probably read.

Which of these answers to what makes the Great great your favorite? Do you also know of other qualities of the Greats? Do share with me in the comment below.

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8 Ways To Keep Yourself Charged Up



To keep oneself charged up, motivated, is the same as being tough, when the going gets tougher. Sometimes, we will feel like giving up. Sometimes, we get tired. We can’t just give up like that. Huh?! We’ve gotta keep moving. When the going gets tough, you should get going.

How can one keeps himself charged up when things are becoming more difficult and discouraging? You can believe with me that sometimes we just want to lie on the couch and do nothing.

Just like the story of a miner. He was digging a place in search of a diamond. He started strong and determined. But, just about 3 inches to reach the diamond, he gave up. He lost faith in himself.

Below are 8 ways to keep yourself charged up. I do use them. And, they really did work.

1. Surround yourself with positive people

Positive, successful, lively colleagues, clients and friends are the kind of people you should have in your circle. Their attitudes and energy will rub off on you. Those you surround yourself with, you become.

2. Give yourself a break

Not just a break, it is several breaks. Having a little time to cool off increases productivity. Make it a habit to relax in between tasks. You can work for 45 minutes and relax for 5 minutes. Or you can choose to extend whichever way it suits you. As a student I recommend pomodoro

3. Set goals and be clear about what you expect of yourself.

You will be more productive when you already have your goals written down. Expect the best.

4. Compliment yourself

Whenever you do things, no matter how little, make it a habit to shower praise on yourself. Cheer yourself up. If you are not an athlete or an artiste, you are going to have to do it for yourself.

5. Believe in yourself.

If people don’t believe in you, you have to do it for yourself. Believe in your abilities. Believe you can do it.

6. Check your performance.

Does it match with your goals? Are you still on point? Are you better than yesterday? Those are ways to check your performance.

7. Notice immediately when you don’t live up to your expectations, but don’t belittle yourself or dwell on it. All you need to do is, improve.

8. To get in a good mood fast, smile.

As famous Wally says, “Find the humor in every day. If you are getting ready for bed and you haven’t laughed yet, just start laughing.” Because as Norman Cousins pointed out to us, “I have never seen anyone in a good state of belly laughter who was also panicky.”

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Positivity: Faith’s Next Of Kin




In a small town, very long ago, was a famine due to lack of rainfall. There was no planting and harvesting for a whole year. One day the village chief summon the spiritual leaders of the land for a meeting to on how to put an end to this drought, the village spiritual leaders suggested that the villagers should assemble together for a very powerful prayer at the village square at exactly 12 mid day.

The village chief summon the town crier to quickly disseminate this information as quickly as possible. At the set date, everybody gathered together at the schedule time, but a small boy was noticed. This small boy was wearing just an ordinary pant but there was something extraordinary about him, he was carrying an umbrella! Yes! That’s Faith, yes! That is positivity!

It rained even before they started their prayers, who knows maybe it was because of the small boy level of faith that quickly accelerate the release of the rain.

Positivity is staying positive even when you find a really good reason to be negative. It is an outlook on life that involves seeing and focusing on the good aspects of a situation, no matter what the circumstances.

Positivity is the next of kin to faith. Your level of faith is determined by how positive you are.

You need to stay positive! You need positivity as drive to arrive at success.

Negativity is a time waster, a puncture tyre that will keep you dragging or even put an end to your journey on your way to success.

If you want to achieve anything good in this world, learn to be positive. Be positive about you, be positive about life and you will see yourself living a victorious life.

Remember positivity is a choice as so negativity, so choose wisely!

How do you usually stay positive?

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