Fear Fear Fear!!! Everyone of us is afraid of something, some place or someone. And the most unfortunate of it all, we are still in this state, still doing the job, still taking the course, still keeping the relationship etc because of fear. We no longer enjoy a relationship, we are afraid of letting go.
We want an increase in salary, we are are afraid of telling our employer. We want to upgrade our skills, we are afraid of attending seminars, taking extra courses. And the list goes on. But, what is really this thing called fear? The fact is, when you listen to other people, you will know we all are afraid of something. But, the way we handle our fear, makes the difference.
In this article I will be sharing what fear is, levels of fear, and some myths about fear (in the next article).
I will like to repeat that, what is the usefulness of reading what I can`t share with others? This article is based on experience and on what I have read as far as fear is concerned. Do me a favor, share with loved one…..Thanks.
What Is Fear? Fear is a strong, uncontrollable, unpleasant emotion caused by actual or perceived danger or threat. That feeling that is holding you back, that has been holding you back is FEAR.
According to Susan Jeffers, Ph.D, (the author of Face the Fear…and Do it anyway), fear has three levels. Namely, levels 1, 2 & 3.
LEVEL ONE FEAR: This is the surface story. This level of fear can be divided into two types: those that happen and those that require action.
Those that Happen: These are things you have no control over. They (some) will surely happen either you like or not. They are: Aging, Becoming disabled, Retirement, Being alone, Children leaving home, Natural disasters, Loss of financial security, Change, Dying, War, Illness, Losing a loved one, Accident and Rape.
Those Requiring Action: Going back to school, Making decisions, Changing a career, Making friends, Ending or beginning a relationship, Going to the doctor, Asserting oneself, Losing weight, Being interviewed, Driving, Public speaking, Making a mistake, Intimacy.
LEVEL TWO FEARS: Level 2 fears have to do with inner states of mind rather than exterior situations. They reflect your sense of self and your ability to handle this world. This explains why generalized fear takes place. If you are afraid of being rejected, this fear will affect almost every area of your life—friends, intimate relationships, job interviews, and so on. Rejection is rejection—wherever it is found. So you begin to protect yourself, and, as a result, greatly limit yourself. You begin to shut down and close out the world around you.
THEY ARE: Rejection, Being conned, Success, Helplessness, Failure, Disapproval, Being vulnerable, Loss of image.
LEVEL THREE FEAR: This is the biggest of all fears. It is simply the fear of I CANT HANDLE IT! At the bottom of every one of your fears is simply the fear that you cant handle whatever life may bring to you.
For instance, I cant handle illness, I cant handle making a mistake, I cant handle losing my job, I can’t handle getting old, I can’t handle being alone, I can’t handle making a fool out of myself, I can’t handle not getting the job, I can’t handle losing him/her, I can’t handle losing my money, I can’t handle failure, . . etc.
IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD HANDLE ANYTHING THAT CAME YOUR WAY, WHAT WOULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE TO FEAR?
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO TO DIMINISH YOUR FEAR IS TO DEVELOP MORE TRUST IN YOUR ABILITY TO HANDLE WHATEVER COMES YOUR WAY!
From this moment on, every time you feel afraid, remind yourself that it is simply because you are not feeling good enough about yourself. Remind yourself that you can handle it.
You must have been wondering why your fears didnt go away immediately. There are some truths you should know about fear. The fear is always there. You just have to conquer it.
To be continued……
© 2018 | Obembe S.D (SirPhren)